“The Throne” (a.k.a. the porcelain god)

The following is a past writing from my "Musings of a Mad Man" collection. Some what dated so do not use the email addresses in the writing. I did not correct these as I did not want to lesson the value of the original.
With that said I have re-printed this for two and only two reasons, First It's pretty cool, second is to see if anyone is reading the blog. I guess I will know by the comments I get or not. Well I guess it is three 'cause I love makin' fun of old Steve
So enjoy,
King James


“The Throne” (a.k.a. the porcelain god)
It has always been the case that a King has his throne. This is a place of deep thought, decision making and is considered by some a place of reverence.

With this in mind think of some of the decisions that have been made while possibly some of the great leaders of the world sat upon their throne and pondered the question of the day.

President Clinton “ should I meet Monica today? President Kennedy “ I wonder what Marilyn is doing today” Old Abe Lincoln “I wonder what is playing at Ford’s this evening”. You see many decisions could have been made on the Throne.

Then the times of reflection, often a time of deep sorrow or thanks. Ted Kennedy “ Boy am I thankful Mom and Dad made be take those swimming lessons” Napoleon on being short “ I am for once glad I was short, that bullet went right over my head”. Sonny Bono, “I’d rather be with Cher”.

The throne has also been known as the porcelain god. As in “I was hugging the porcelain god last night and I swore I’d never drink another drop”. “Boy it must have been something I ate”. We have all been there one time or another.

Well all this to say this is where I get most of my inspiration, mixed with occasional perspiration during a difficult defecation. Some trips to the throne are more productive than others, depending on the time and calm of the session. Nothing more disheartening than expecting a great power dump and finding out it was only meant to be a moment of flatulation other wise known as a “massive gassive”. Thus not allowing time for thought or reflection. (I am not sure if flatulation is spelled correctly but who ever writes that word down anyway, so who will know) You see that alone could have been a moment of reflection.

I was reflecting on the Kansas vs. Maryland game. It is wonderful to see those Terp make it to the final game. Last night’s game was a great game from many respects. First, college sports far exceed the quality of Pro sports. Second both teams played a great game. Third, Maryland won hands down with no excuses, pure talent. And last but certainly not least, as a result of my brother-in-laws not thinking before he speaks, he and my beautiful, but hindered, sister, will be treating King James (not to be confused with the Biblical version) and Squire Rick to a round of golf. I am told it is the custom of losers from Kansas to treat the winner to only the best of Golf Courses. Green’s fees, cart fee’s and food and drink at the ninth and 19th hole are also included.

It hurts me deeply to have to take such a treat from my sister, but hey some one has to be the looser. And after all she should have thought a little more before marrying a Kansas redneck, I mean Red hawk. Sound a little like she needed some throne time? I think so!

If anyone out there in Lavertyville would like to take advantage of Steve’s inability to pick a winner, I have attached a link to his email so you can send him a well thought out wager. SPhelps@encompserv.com or
eileen@kscable.com . I recommend some throne time before you make the wager, something Steve obviously forgot to do before picking up the phone and placing that, although not fatal, but terrible bet with the King.

Well I conclude by saying I hope all had a wonderful Easter and I pray you have a great year to come.

King James (not to be confused with the Biblical version)